trying to process

i don't think i've ever felt so hurt by someone in my entire life.especially the one person that i loved more than anyone in the entire world and would have done anything for.it's a stab in the gut and makes me feel like i can't breathe.to realize that the person i seriously considered spending the rest of my life with could even be *capable* of treating me so heinously has left me alternating between the urge to cry or vomit pretty much constantly for the last few days.the fact that he didn't even realize that he did something so profoundly wrong and then laid blame on me blows my mind.

i can't eat. i can't sleep and when i do my dreams betray me.

at the moment, i really don't know how i am going to get over this.i'm a mess.